Coming Out – An Abortion Care Staff Person Writes

As the 40 Days of protests continues, we keep sharing the truth about abortion care services at the FPA.

This week, a staff person shares a post she wrote on her personal blog a few years ago – when she was twelve weeks pregnant with her first child.

Here’s an excerpt from the blog post she shared with her family and friends —

As much as people don’t want to hear a pregnant woman talk about miscarriage, I think abortion rates a few thousand times higher up on the list of things that people don’t want to hear about at all, much less from a pregnant woman.

No, this isn’t what I thought I’d be blogging about on my twelve-week anniversary mark, but it’s been weighing on me – so much so that I feel like I couldn’t simply jump back into some funny blog entry before I address an issue that is bigger than just me and my anecdotes.

Because one-third of all women will have an abortion in the course of their lifetime, it’s likely that the issue will hit close to home for almost everyone, at some point, in some way, in their lifetime – if it hasn’t already. Whether it’s yourself, your sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend, cousin, mother, grandmother, co-worker, or friend.

As I heard a male doctor say at the National Abortion Federation Conference I attended, “Abortion is not just a women’s issue, it’s a family issue. It affects all of us.” And that includes the men in our lives: husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons, fathers, cousins, grandfathers, co-workers, and friends.

And to lessen the distance that people may feel to an issue that may seem peripheral, I also wanted to share on a personal level that abortion is not something that just happens in the movies, or in big cities, or far away states.

Part of what I do every week is help women through the abortion process. From talking with them beforehand, attending to them during their abortion, and caring for them afterward, I see a great diversity of women each week: teenagers, pre-menopausal women, mothers, teachers, nurses, business owners, exchange students, women of all religions, and women affected by every imaginable birth control method failure possible, even vasectomy.

It’s hard not to grow resentful of the sense that those of us who do this work should be “quiet” about it, so as not to upset people, or appear distasteful, or boat-rocking, or radical.

So, after several years of doing this work, I’m “coming out” and putting a face to the abortion issue, so that people see that even “a nice girl like N. does that kind of work.”

My co-workers and I say all the time that we feel privileged and honored to help women in the way that we do. Their stories are profound and compelling, and their gratitude to us and for the right to have control over their lives is overwhelming.

And speaking of co-workers – I am beyond lucky to work with the most amazing women ever. They are incredibly compassionate, hardworking, hilarious, eloquent, genuine superwomen. We are a fabulous team, and we appreciate each other and the very privileged jobs we share.

I wanted to make sure that I was not just writing this to relieve myself of a weight, but rather that I was doing my part to further awareness and understanding of, again, what can seem like a “peripheral” issue.

So I plead to all who read this to have their eyes and ears open to what’s happening in our government, because mine get opened real wide every week.

~ An FPA abortion care staff member

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