Q&A: Males - Orgasm

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MALES

Burns when I pee

I'm a 12 year old boy and I'm going through puberty and when I pee it burns. Is it normal?

No, it should not burn when you pee. You could have a urinary tract infection. You really, really need to tell your parents so they can have a doctor look at you.

Urinary tract infections are very common. Don't be embarrassed - it does not mean you did anything wrong; just please talk to your parents as soon as possible.

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Bumps

I am a 16 year old boy, and I've been masturbating for about 4 years now, and when I look at the head of my penis, it seems that it has little bumps, as if the skin was damaged. I've never had sex, and I don't have any kind of disease, so can you please tell me what's wrong with it and how to heal the skin? Thanks!

Hi and thanks for writing to our website. Masturbation is a normal and healthy activity that some people choose to engage in. Without seeing what you are seeing on the head of your penis it is hard to tell what is going on. It is possible that the bumps are from the friction caused by masturbating. If this is the case, using some sort of lubrication can reduce the friction. You may also choose to not masturbate for a few days to give the area a chance to heal and see if that helps.

If neither of these things make a difference or if you are still worried about it, your doctor or local Family Planning or Planned Parenthood clinic should be able to help you.

Good Luck and take care.

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Undescended testicle

My fiance and are are getting married next year and have been always open with each other about our wishes to have children someday. We are both looking forward to becoming parents in the future but are concerned about possible fertility issues due to my fiance having an undescended testicle. It was found when he was a baby but was not fixed in hopes it would drop on it's own as the other did normally. However, when he went into sports in jr high the doctor doing his physical noticed that it still had not descended. He had surgery to fix it, the doctors cut the tubes and placed it into the scrotum where it should have descended.

We would like to know if the normal testicle would have compensated for the undescended one since it was caught during puberty or if it is likely that we will have problems. The fixed testicle acts like the other, moving up and down to control temperature . . . is it still functional? We know that a sperm test will tell all, but we would like to have some idea on the statistics first.

From what you describe, it is reasonable to believe that the testicle is functioning properly and producing sperm. A sperm analysis is a simple test to reassure you both.

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Discharge from penis

I am male and recently had sex with a girl having her period. I started having sensation of incomplete urination and later discovered that some blood along with blood clots are coming out from my penis. The partner with whom I had sex does not have HIV. Please suggest.

Any time a person has unprotected sexual activity with anyone, there is risk for a sexually transmitted infection. You need to see a health care provider NOW to be tested. For a man, this can include a painless urine test. I cannot speak to blood from your penis, this should be assessed by a health care provider. Ask specifically about HIV at your visit. Good luck, don't wait; you'll feel better after talking to someone who knows.

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Will my throat antibiotic cure my STI?

I had unprotected sexual intercourse a little over a month ago and have received oral sex from a couple different partners. I feel a stingy sensation when I urinate but there have been no signs of discharge.

I went to my family doctor and requested I be tested for all STD's. He told me that to be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia he must insert a cotton swab inside my urethra. I did not feel comfortable with this so I did not get tested, is there any other way to test for those particular STD's without having to insert a cotton swab in my urethra, and if not, how far would they need to insert it?

Also, I developed a bacterial infection on my tonsils in which i was prescribed antibiotics for. I was wondering if the antibiotics"Zithromax" 250 mg and MethylPREDNISolone" 4 mg will not only cure my throat but any other bacterial infection such as gonorrhea and/or chlamydia?

Hi. Thanks for writing in. First, I want to say that you did the right thing by going to your doctor's office to get tested for STI's when you first started noticing symptoms. Your doctor wanted to do a urethral swab, which is a common way to test for infections such as gonorrhea and Chlamydia.

However, it is not the ONLY way to do so. A urine sample can be used just as effectively to diagnose both of these infections. If your doctor's office will not do a urine test, your local Family Planning or Planned Parenthood clinic can.

You have been given two medications for your throat infection. Zithromax IS an antibiotic and one that is often used to treat gonorrhea and Chlamydia. HOWEVER, the dose that you have been given is not enough to treat either of those infections (if you should have one). It is possible that the small amount of Zithromax will make you feel better without really treating the infection. If this does happen, the infection could get worse and might also become harder to treat.

Given all of this information, I would strongly recommend that you get tested for gonorrhea and Chlamydia as soon as possible (so that you can receive full treatment sooner rather than later). Until you know the results of that test, it is a good idea to not engage in any type of sexual behaviors (oral, vaginal or anal sex) that might transmit the infection to another person.

In the future, using condoms/other barriers for every type of sexual activity can reduce the likelihood that you will get some sexually transmitted infections. Most Family Planning or Planned Parenthood Clinics can provide you with condoms for a small fee. Take Care.

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Unable to get erection

My husband is 54 and is worried that is penis is unable to erect. He does not wake up with an erection anymore and nothing he thinks about seems to help. He gets burning feeling in the scrotum area and it is very dry as if his sperm is not re-producing. Is this an age thing or can something be done about this?

It is not unusual for men to have a slightly decreased sex drive and fewer nighttime erections as they get older. If your husband is completely unable to have an erection, though, he should check in with his health care provider—no erections (known as erectile dysfunction or ED) can be caused by an underlying medical condition such as diabetes, blocked blood vessels, alcoholism, or nerve disease, or even by medications such as antidepressants.

Even if your husband weren’t concerned about erections, I’d recommend he check in with a provider because of his symptoms of burning and dryness. The burning can be a sign of an infection or a problem with his prostate gland. It’s recommended that men over 50 have their prostate glands checked yearly as a part of their annual physical.

Once your husband has been evaluated, his provider will be able to recommend treatments or medications to help with his ED.

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Penis swollen

My penis is hurting and swollen on one side and yellow stuff is coming out - what's wrong?

There is no way to tell what is wrong by your description alone. Yellow discharge coming out of the penis could be a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection. The only way to know for sure is to have a test done, which usually requires giving a urine sample.

Your local Family Planning or Planned Parenthood clinic could perform the test and provide treatment. Your primary care doctor (if you have one) could also test for and treat any infections. It is important that you see someone as soon as you can.

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How can I not?

When I am around my g/f I get an erection and then we will be messing around. How can stop getting erections when I am not supposed to and how can I not prematurely ejaculate?

The saying that the penis has a mind of its own has some truth to it, because there are plenty of times when guys get erections when they don't want to. Some guys try to think of things that "turn them off" or things that are not at all related to sex. Usually you just have to wait for the erection to go away on its own. (Sorry, there's no easy solution).

As for trying to not ejaculate prematurely, this is also something that just takes practice and concentration. Again, you can think of something not related to sex. Another alternative, if you masturbate, is to masturbate before seeing your girlfriend, so that you're less "on the edge" when you see her. Usually guys need a little bit of time between one erection and the next. You can also try "starting and stopping" when you're with her, which means when you feel yourself getting close to ejaculating, stop momentarily from doing whatever is stimulating you (and have her stop as well). When you feel it's safe again, you can resume stimulation. Do this several times until you feel like you're ready to ejaculate. This will also take practice before you notice that you're able to have better control of your ejaculations.

It will help if you communicate with your partner about this so she can help make things last. Good luck.

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Painful sex in men

I hear all this talk about sex hurting for the first time for girls, but does it hurt for a guy to have sex?

Men can experience pain with ejaculation if they have an infection. But in general, intercourse is not painful for men. If you are experiencing pain with ejaculation (during masturbation or sex), please contact your health care provider or local family planning clinic immediately.

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MASTURBATION

Masturbation and bleeding: It is not recommended to cause bleeding with any sexual activity. The only time bleeding can be expected is if you engage in masturbation or sexual activity during a woman's period. If you engage in any kind of masturbation or sexual activity (including using devices such as dildos), and it causes bleeding, then you should stop the activity to the extreme where it caused the bleeding. If the bleeding continues after the activity has been stopped, or happens again even though you eased up, or if you have persistent pain from it, please seek medical attention from your provider or family planning immediately.

Masturbation itself shouldn't cause physical harm, unless you're using certain techniques or objects that are not safe for your body.

It's up to you what you do with your own body, but you should know that open sores that are bleeding will probably take a while to heal, especially in the genital area, and could get infected. If that happened you may need to go to Family Planning or to your family doctor to get medication to help with the healing process.

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MASTURBATION QUESTIONS

Bleeding

I'm a 15 year old girl, and I'm still a virgin. A day after my period I masturbated and when I was done I noticed a little bleeding. I waited another day or so and I did it again, the first time I did it there was no blood and the second time I did it it was later that day and I noticed a little bleeding, is this a normal thing?

If you masturbate within a few days after your period, then the contractions of your uterus during orgasm can cause a little more bleeding, so unless the bleeding never stops, you should not worry. If you bleed for days, then you should see your doctor. If masturbation ALWAYS causes bleeding, then you should see your doctor.

If you are inserting any kind of implement during masturbation, then that could be causing the bleeding if you are too rough or if it is not something that is meant to be inserted in your vagina.

As long as you do not have any other symptoms, such as pain, discharge with an odor, or continual bleeding, then you are probably fine.

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Child masturbation info for class

In my human sexuality class I have a paper to do about child masturbation. The scenario is a five year child is masturbating in the family room while watching TV. What should the parent do? Can you tell me where to find more info on this?

This would be a teachable moment... The child should be approached gently and calmly and without judgment. Do not shame, chastise, or punish them. Explain to the child that it is okay to masturbate, but it is something that should be done in private.

Masturbation is perfectly normal, but just as a parent teaches a child not to pick his or her nose in public, so should they teach the child that masturbation is something to do in private. The important thing is to teach them the difference between what's acceptable in public versus private space. A simple, straightforward discussion of public and private, and that private activities like masturbation are reserved for private places, and explain exactly where those places are in the home.

Here are some helpful links:

University of Michigan Health System

Parent Soup at I-Village

I would suggest calling your local family planning clinic and see if they have any information, plus a trip to your local book store in the sexuality section. Additionally, you may find a lot of helpful information on the internet by searching on the Google site and type in "child masturbation." Good luck!

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Masturbation and burning sensation

I'm 16 and still a virgin. I've recently been masturbating often. But I think something is wrong with me now. Every time I go to the bathroom to pee, my vagina burns. I don't know what's wrong with me so help!

You may have a bladder infection or a vaginal infection. Please go to family planning or see your own health care provider. You do not need to have had sex for either of these to occur.

When masturbating with dildos or other devices, it is imperative that you make sure these devices are clean. Always wash them in warm soapy water (or wipe them down with alcohol) before and after each use. This will help prevent future infections.

Meanwhile, please seek medical help immediately.

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ORAL SEX

Bruise on penis

I am a 21 year old male and received oral sex for the first time. No other contact occurred, and while it was unprotected, we both are confident we have no STDs. Within an hour or two, I noticed that something like a bruise developed on the tip of my penis (it may have occurred sooner, but I didn't notice until an hour later when I went into another room with more light). Based on the descriptions I've read, I don't think it is an STD considering how quickly it developed. It isn't painful to touch, but it does make the area a bit more tender.

I'm guessing my partner may have been a bit over-zealous, but my questions are: this sounds like a bruise, but is this common, how long would a bruise like this last, and is there anything else I should know about this? Thank you for providing this service!

Hi. Thanks for writing in to our website. From your description, it sounds like you might have developed a hickey. These occur when blood vessels beneath the skin break from the pressure of someone sucking on the skin. As you are probably already aware, the head is the most sensitive area of the penis. Because it is so sensitive, there doesn't need to be any major sucking in order for oral sex to feel good. If the hickey bothers you and/or is uncomfortable, you might want to talk more with your partner about what feels good and what doesn't.

Being a bit more gentle may prevent such hickeys in the future. However, if you liked how it felt when your partner was performing oral sex on you, and are not bothered by the hickey or prospects of getting another one, then nothing needs to change. Like any other bruise-type injury, how long it lasts may depend on how your body heals in general; for some people in might be a few days, and for other people it might be longer. Aside from being more tender and maybe uncomfortable, they are not anything that will cause you harm.

You mention that you and your partner are confident that neither of you has an STD. You may have already done this, but I just want to mention that getting tested for STD's is the only way to know for sure if you do or do not have one. Many people do not have any symptoms for STD's despite being infected. In the future, using a condom for oral sex (or any kind of sex, for that matter) is a practice that can help keep both you and your partner safe.

I hope this information helps. Take care.

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Normal?

Is it normal for my boyfriend to not come to orgasm when I am giving him oral sex?

Yes, occasionally it is normal for all men to not reach orgasm. Unless your boyfriend had a serious medical condition or is taking medication that can affect orgasm, not reaching orgasm from time to time is completely normal.

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Can you get pregnant from having oral sex?

No. As long as there is no sperm-vagina contact, you cannot get pregnant. However, you CAN get a sexually transmitted infection, so to be safest, use condoms or dental dams, both available at family planning, when engaging in oral sex.

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ORGASM

Sensitive

I was wondering about having orgasms, I am a female and I never have orgasms when I've had sex, but when I receive oral sex from a partner it feels really good and when I feel like I'm going to have an orgasm I push them away because it feels too good or something. I'm not sure why I do it because it does feel good. I try to not do it but I can't help it, I want them to keep going so they can completely finish me off.

I think that they think they are bad or something that's not the case but I'm not sure how to tell them that it feels too good or something. Is there any way for me to control this and just let myself finish?

The sensation you describe is ABSOLUTELY normal—as women are just about to have an orgasm, their clitoris (the sensitive bump just above the vaginal opening) becomes EXTREMELY sensitive. The push-away feeling is one that many women—even women who’ve had lots of orgasms—experience. The good news is that you enjoy sex and find it pleasurable, and that’s a good indication that you WILL be able to have an orgasm.

Women who have trouble getting all the way to orgasm sometimes have a fear of losing control in front of their partner. The truth is that many people find it easiest to have their first orgasms by themselves. Masturbation is a great way to experience an orgasm in a private, no-pressure environment. Once you have a sense of what an orgasm feels like, it’s less intimidating to think about having one with your partner.

Another common cause of no orgasms is LACK OF COMMUNICATION between partners. We think it’s a GREAT idea to talk to your boyfriend about what you’re feeling and why you feel the need to push him away. Talking about sex can help you relax and enjoy yourself.

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Get really sore...

My boyfriend and I have been having sex for awhile now and I've never had an orgasm. I don't remember when this started happening exactly, but after having sex for a little while (like 30 minutes) I start to get really sore, and so we'll stop, which is probably why I don't ever have an orgasm. But also sometimes it will hurt to pee afterwards and sometimes my vagina even gets swollen. Why is this? And is there any way of stopping it?

Whoa. It sounds as if sex is pretty uncomfortable for you right now. It’s very difficult for women to achieve orgasm if they’re uncomfortable or in pain. And MOST women don’t have orgasms with only penis-in-vagina intercourse. While the stimulation of the penis generally feels good, the vagina itself is actually not that sensitive.

It’s the clitoris (the small bump of tissue just above the vaginal opening) that has the sensitivity of the penis, and for most women it’s stimulation of this area that results in orgasm. Another element that plays an important role in orgasm is foreplay—plenty of tender kissing and stroking. This kind of sex play brings you and your boyfriend pleasure and helps increase the natural lubrication of your vagina, making sex, when you have it, more comfortable and pleasurable. For more specifics on orgasms and how to have them, we recommend the book OUR BODIES, OURSELVES. It's available in many libraries, and is a good resource about healthy sexuality.

The symptoms you mention—swollen tender vagina and swollen tender urethra (the hole your pee comes through)—are most likely the result of too much sex with too little lubrication. To increase your comfort, make sure you are ready for sex BEFORE your boyfriend’s penis goes into your vagina—it’s key that YOU feel excited and eager for sex.

And it would probably be a good idea to use some extra lubrication during intercourse. There are lots of good lubricants available at pharmacies—Astroglide and KY Jelly are two well-known brands. (Do NOT use petroleum-based products such as Vaseline; they're not meant to be used internally and they can make condoms break.) Before sex, apply the lubricant generously to his penis or the condom on his penis and all around the outside and just inside your vagina. Finally, it's a good idea to pee before and after sex--it makes sex more comfortable and may even help prevent bladder infections. Good luck and take care of yourself.

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Orgasms in women

My boyfriend and I have had sex many times and he doesn't believe that it is possible for me to have had an orgasm every time. Will you please tell me if it is physically possible for me to have an orgasm every time and occasionally within the first few minutes of sex?

Yes, your boyfriend is wrong. Of course it is physically possible for a woman to have an orgasm every time. Some women orgasm every time, some women orgasm several times before, during, and even after sexual intercourse, some women don't orgasm during penetration, but will orgasm during oral sex or from foreplay or afterplay. Every woman is different. You and your boyfriend should read "Our Bodies, Ourselves" - it is an excellent book.

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How do you know when you're having an orgasm?

I would refer you to books by Lonnie Barback, Ph.D. She has written excellent books regarding sexual response and orgasm. Her books are in paperback and can be found at most book stores. Also, talk to the counselors at your local family planning clinic - they can help you understand what orgasms are and how your body works.

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Having frequent orgasms

Is it bad when a girl has a lot of orgasms, even without being turned on? Just naturally.

No, it is not bad! Sexual arousal is natural. Some women are more easily aroused than others. In general, this would only be problematic when it interferes with your daily living activities. It is not bad; you should not feel guilty or abnormal about it. If you want more information, go online to some of the links we offer, or peruse your local book store in the sexual health section for more information about orgasms, or make an appointment at your local family planning clinic to talk to a counselor.

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Climaxing

I was wondering if it's safe to use a vibrator for masturbation? Also I was wondering why does the climax feel better when I leave the vibrator in while I am climaxing and when I am having sex why does the climax feel better when he leaves his penis in when I am climaxing? also my boyfriend says when he is ejaculating it feels better for him if he leaves his penis in my vagina while he is ejaculating and I was wondering why is that?

Many people use different things in addition to their hands when they are masturbating, including vibrators. If you're using a vibrator that's meant for sexual gratification, just be sure to follow the directions that may come with it about hw to use, clean, and store it.

Different sensations feel good to different people when they are masturbating and when they are with a partner. Often, sustained contact (like keeping the vibrator in your vagina or your boyfriend's penis being in your vagina) feels good during orgasm. Most likely, it's because it's continuing the feeling that brought you to the point of orgasm in the first place... so it's like having more of a good thing!

For more information on orgasms and masturbation, check out some of the websites linked to our Teen Page. Happy researching!

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Does the girl need to come [to orgasm] to get pregnant?

No, the woman does not need to reach orgasm in order to get pregnant, only the man.

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